Results of a Drunk Kami
by goodmorningusa
Summary: When Namikaze Minato sealed the Kyuubi no Kitsune within his son, he made a deal with the gods that 14 years later, he would be revived so he could protect his son.Now, 14 years have passed and Minato is finally free. Only one catch: He's invisible.
1. Prologue

**R**esults of a **D**runk **K**ami

RDK

By: goodmorningusa

**Disclaimer: Mi no ownie Naruto..**

**Authors note: I just got the idea for this story now. But if it sucks, tell me. I want brutal honesty. Tell me all my falling points and I will do better!**

**~Prologue~**

It was a regular day in the stomach of the afterlife. Dark, no food, and a touch of bones here and there to make the stomach of the afterlife very homey.

But the day wouldn't be normal if the Kami's weren't fighting.

Today, they were playing poker.

"Royal flush!" Izanami (1) called for the fifth time. She had won every game so far. She was a pretty woman with orange, waist length hair and green eyes. She wore a green kimono.

"Damn it!" Susano-ô (2) growled, "She has to be cheating! There's no way anyone can play and consistently win!" He was a blue skinned man who wore a black male kimono. His black hair reached his shoulders.

Tsuki-yomi, (3) a white haired, blue eyed man who wore a grey male kimono, raised an eyebrow.

"Susano-ô," Amaterasu (4) said, "I doubt Izanami-san would cheat at a game she created." She had learned to be a peacemaker. She had long white hair in one braid, grey eyes, and wore a red and black kimono. She resembled her brother, Tsuki-yomi. Susano-ô was her brother as well, but he didn't have the same looks as the rest of the family.

As Izanami, Susano-ô, Amaterasu, and Tsuki-yomi played poker, Inari (5), Hachiman (6), and Kagutsuchi (7) enjoyed the entertainment while eating rice balls. "My specialty," Inari would say. He was a sweet old man who enjoyed good old fashioned selling.

The quarrelling continued. Until the door slammed open.

"Izanagi!(8)" The others gasped. Izanagi was a creator god along with Izanami. He hardly left his study.

"What's the occasion?" Kagutsuchi joked after Izanagi had seated. Izanagi, on the other hand, had a stern look on his face.

"This is serious business," He began. "We are nearing the fifteenth year since _he _arrived here."

Gasps were heard again.

"Oh, great!" Kagutsuchi said sarcastically. "Now we're in some sort of meeting!"

Inanagi, on the inside, scowled. Could the boy not be serious for five minutes? " Kagutsuchi, this is _serious._"

The others were quiet. But Kagutsuchi stood. "Why? We made a deal with _him_, so let's just follow through on it!"

"You don't get it!" Izanami stood now. "He's our servant! Who's gonna do our chores when _he _isn't here?"

"I-Izanami-san," Amaterasu shyly interrupted, "it will do no good holding _him _here. Kagutsuchi-san is correct. We should let him go." She looked up to Izanami, but sometimes Izanami could be selfish.

Meanwhile, in the village of Konoha, a mysterious stranger walked into a weapon shop. He was wrapped from head to toe like a mummy, in bandages, and wore a suit, sunglasses, and black loafers.

"Excuse me sir, can I help you?" A store hand asked, obliviously scared of the man.

When the man sidestepped the store hand, he grew annoyed.

"Sir, can I help you?" The store hand asked, a growing twitch in his eye.

The mystery man smirked under his bandages. "Are There any sharp kunais here?"

"How sharp?"

"Sharp enough to kill somebody with."

A large shiver passed down the back of the store hand.

Back to the Kami's.

Eyes were narrowed, fists clenched, fingers pointed, and killing intent flared. A regular 'discussion' amongst the Kami's.

"My brothers and sisters," Inari said, wistfully, "Let us have a vote to decide this, and restore peace."

The other Kami's were silent. Moments later, all the Kami's were relaxed in chairs, facing Izanagi who was speaking.

"We all must vote fairly." He began. "That means, only one limb per person, no complaining, and after words, each and every one of us will accept the results of this vote. Do we all accept the conditions?"

There was a brief silence as all the other Kami's went over the conditions in their heads.

"We accept." Amaterasu, as always, spoke for everyone. There were no objections, so Izanagi spoke.

"All in favor of _him _leaving us forever and returning to his home, alive and well, raise your hand."

Almost immediately, Kagutsuchi's hand shot up. "There's no reason he should stay here."

Amaterasu's hand was up next. "He should leave and be free."

Hachiman's gruff hand made its way to the air. "We had a deal."

Tsuki-yomi raised his hand, taking a sip of his tea as he did so.

Inari raised his hand. "The poor lad deserves to leave."

Izanagi's eyes roamed. He raised his hand as well. "All in favor of _him _staying here, working for us? Who wants us to go back on our word?"

Izanami's hand sprang up.

Susano-ô raised his hand, looking bored.

"Does anyone want to go back and change their minds?" Izanagi asked. No movements were made.

"We, the Kami's, have decided, six to two, that _he _will be leaving us."

(1) Izanami - creator goddess

(2) Susano-ô - violent god associated with storms and the sea, Amaterasu's brother

(3) Tsuki-yomi - moon god, Amaterasu's brother

(4) Amaterasu goddess - of the sun and fertility who brings light to the world

(5) Inari – god associated with rice and merchants

(6)Hachiman - god of warriors, known for his military skill

(7)Kagutsuchi - god of fire

(8)Izanagi - creator god

Authors note: For those of you wondering, no I did not make the Gods up. These Gods are from Japanese Mythology. I created personalities for them according to position. And if you are wondering about the mysterious stranger, he will be explained in the future chapters.

Next chapter:

First meetings: Uzamaki Naruto


	2. First Meetings: Uzamaki Naruto

**I don't own Naruto, or '**_**The Invisible Man'**_**, for your information.**

**The ending is way better the beginning.**

XxXxX

Naruto jumped from tree to tree, scanning his surroundings for enemy ninja's. He had just been chased by assassins. He had just barley saved himself, and he needed to know if he was being followed.

It wasn't the first time. Naruto was sure that it was someone in his very own village who had sent the assassins.

Turning back once more, Naruto was sure he had lost the assassins. Nobody could catch Naruto when he went full speed.

Still jumping, a large grin plastered itself over Naruto's face.

Walking past the gates of Konoha, only one thing was on his mind.

'_Ichiraku Ramen!'_

XxXxX

Konoha's masked stranger sighed. It was not every day you had to prance around wrapped up like a mummy.

He was in a lovely inn. If lovely could even describe the place he was staying at. You see, the masked stranger wasn't rich. He had almost nothing and worked hard to get money.

'_It will be hard to start over.' _He thought, recalling how the morning had gone. After a trip to a weapon shop, he had stopped at many stores trying to pick up new clothes. Nothing he had seen interested him.

I think I'll visit one of my favorites, the man said to himself.

'_Hikaru weapon shop, here I come.' _

XxXxX

"One Miso ramen please!" Naruto shouted, enjoying the fact that he was now back in his favorite seat. 2nd from the left. Ah, it was quite comfortable.

"Coming right up!" Ayame, the girl who, with her father, ran the ramen stand said. She then disappeared.

"Make that two!" Naruto heard a shout from beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone who brightened up his day.

"Sakura-chan!"He yelled. His pink haired goddess!

"Hi Naruto!" Sakura said with a smile. Okay, maybe she wasn't _quite _his, yet. Okay, she wasn't his at all.

Sakura stretched, relieving her back muscles. "Tsunade-shishou is a harsh sensei." She said.

"I can imagine." A pregnant silence took over them for a few minutes, until Naruto broke the silence.

"What's wrong, Sakura-chan?" He had known her long enough to tell when something was wrong. Sakura's eyebrows wrinkled in – what Naruto thought it to be – worry or frustration.

"It's just… I don't know, Naruto, it's that 'masked stranger'.

"Who?"

Sakura sighed. Leave it to Naruto to not know about the most talked-about thing in Konoha. "There's a man that's been appearing here-"

"Oh, like a ghost?" Naruto cut in.

"No not like a ghost!" Sakura yelled. She then paused to regain her temper. "There has been a man appearing all over Konoha." Sakura looked up to see Naruto who had a bored look on his face.

"So?"

Sakura fumed, and before Naruto could react, she whacked him upside the head. "'So'? What do you mean 'so'!" Sakura asked/screamed.

Naruto turned to see his ramen still not ready. "I mean, he's here, so what?"

"You don't care that a weirdo man is rampaging around Konoha?"

"You don't know he's weird! And he hasn't done any rampaging."

"Bu-" Sakura began, but before she could punch Naruto, two bowls were set in front of them. Ayame wore an apologetic smile.

" Sorry for the wait."

"No problem." Naruto said.

"Thank you!" Sakura shouted.

They broke their chopsticks at the same time, shouted "_**itadakimasu**_" at the same time, and began to eat at the same time. The only difference, Naruto shoved food in his mouth, while Sakura ate at a regular pace.

After Naruto finished his first bowl and his second, he asked for the bill. Sakura had already left, so he just left.

In mid-Konoha, Naruto felt his wallet.

'_Good, still enough left…' _He thought with a broad grin.

XxXxX

The mysterious masked stranger got dressed. Here's how.

Step one: Wrap yourself head to toe in bandages (basically toilet paper)

Step two: Add some normal ninja clothes over it, shirt, pants, sandals, and the most important, a hat and the Konoha headband.

Step three: put on sunglasses, a fake nose, and fake hair (wig)

And you are done!

He sighed as he gathered all his money and stuffed it into his wallet.

The first store he entered was a weapon store. The last one he had been to didn't have quality service. The kunais were dull too.

As soon as he entered, he was approached by –

"Hi I'm Tenten. Is there anything I can help you with?" The girl couldn't be older than fourteen, fifteen at the highest.

"I'm looking for…" He trailed off.

"I'll… show you around, and see what catches your eye?" She suggested.

"Yeah."

The first stop was a shelf with antique swords. One was curved and had carved flames rising from the handle. That caught his eye. Tenten noticed, and grabbed it off the shelf.

"This is a very valuable sword. It used to belong to… a respected person."

The masked man smirked when he noticed the girl stop herself from saying who the sword belonged to. "Who?"

"The Yondaime."

"Sooo… how much is it?"

"2,000,000 ryō,"

The masked man's jaw hit the floor! That was most of what he had! "That… is… too expensive!"

"If you want the sword, you'll fork it over." Tenten teased, as she raised the sword and waved it in the air. The masked man's eyes followed the sword.

Tenten looked at him expectantly.

Sighing, he slid his hand into his back pocket. He slipped the money out of his wallet, and held out the money.

Tenten pulled on the money, and looked back at the masked man, who wasn't letting go.

"Sir. You. Have. To. Let. _Go._" Tenten said, emphasizing each word will a pull.

With all her might, she ripped the money out of the man's hand. She wiped invisible sweat from her forehead before she counted the money.

"1,000,000, 1,005,000, 1,700,000, 1,800,000, 2,000,000. The money's correct." Tenten announced.

'_I knew it was.' _He thought.

"Now… let's get this wrapped up!" Tenten held up the sword and walked to the front desk, the masked man following gloomily.

XxXxX

As the masked man entered the inn, in his arm, the carefully wrapped sword, he was stopped by his landlady.

"Time to pay up." She demanded.

"Uh… what?"

The landlady sighed. "You," she pointed to the masked man, "have been staying at my," she pointed to herself, "inn for a month now without paying. Your rent's due."

He stood there for a moment, letting all the words sink in. Then he panicked.

'_Holy shit! I can't believe I forgot!' _He panicked for the next few minutes, before finally calming down.

"So do you have my money or what?" his landlady asked, a vein popping on her forehead.

"How… much was it again?"

"2,000,000 ryō."

'_Oh yeah, I planned for this!'_ He thought as he pulled out his wallet.

After searching it, he realized it was basically empty. He looked up and grinned sheepishly while scratching the back of his head.

'_The money I saved to pay my rent. That's the same money I spent today…' _

"Can I have another week to pay it?" He asked, smiling stupidly.

The landlady looked at him hard before sighing. "ONE week. Okay?"

The masked man bent down, kissing his landlady's feet. "Oh thank you! I promise I'll pay in a week!"

"You'd better, or else your ass will be on the street." She grumbled, walking away.

The masked man had a happy smile until a realization dawned on him.

'_How the hell do I come up with that money in a week!'_

XxXxX

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SOLD IT!" Naruto yelled at Tenten, who looked apologetic.

"Well Naruto, a customer, who was ready to pay, asked me about it. So I told him the price and he wanted to buy it, so he bought it." she lied.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET HIM BUY IT!"

"I did raise the price, but he still bought it."

"BUT YOU STILL SHOULDN'T HAV – how much?" Naruto interrupted himself.

Tenten bit her lip. "… 2,000,000 ryō."

Naruto threw his hands up in the air. "AND HE STILL BOUGHT IT! THAT'S OVER TWICE OF ITS PRICE!"

Naruto had been coming to Tenten's weapon shop for a while, hoping the buy the flame sword. Unfortunately, he never had enough money to afford it. So Tenten was _supposed_ to be keeping it until Naruto could afford it.

"AND THE ONE TIME I HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY IT!" he kicked the floor.

Naruto continued his tantrum. While all of this happened, Tenten couldn't help but feel bad.

"Um, Naruto," She said quietly, "Why did you want it so badly?"

Naruto sighed. " Well… it belonged to my father and all…" Naruto's voice trailed. Tenten knew this was a touchy subject for Naruto.

"As weird as this sounds…" Tenten tried to phrase her question correctly. "Why do you have the sudden interest in your father?"

Naruto paused and blinked. "I _honestly _don't know… I guess I just want to know what he was like… I made this image in my head where, I thought that by having his stuff with me… it would be like he was with me."

Naruto sighed. "I guess it was really stupid, huh?" He kicked the floor again, but softer than the last time, "Stupid to think he'd ever be with me. No matter what we'll always be apart."

"I'm Sorry Naruto…" Tenten began, but was cut off by Naruto as he held the door open.

"Forget it." And with that, he closed the door and left.

"I'm sorry Naruto…" Tenten thought, sinking to the floor.

'_I'm sorry…'_

XxXxX

"Do you know how much trouble you caused me?" The masked man asked. He was in his room at the inn he was staying at. There was nobody else present in the room, though.

Outside of the room, Shimura Akane, the masked man's landlady, had her ear pressed to the door as the listened to what the man was saying. She was making stops at every room delivering tea and crackers. Was, being the key word in that sentence.

"I had to spend 2,000,000 ryō to get you back." Shimura's eyes widened. It would take two S-class missions to get that kind of money. Where in the world did this man get it from?

"I hope you know, I won't be fighting with you a lot here." The man said again. Shimura had never considered herself a nosy person, but how was it possible to _not_ spy on this conversation.

"Damnit! I can't go on like this!" There was a loud crash heard afterwords. The landlady was shocked at the change of tone.

"Is everything all right in there?" She replied on reflex. She hated herself the second the words left her mouth.

Faint footsteps were heard, moving towards the door.

"Landlady?" came the yell. Shimura flinched.

"Yes? What were you yelling about? Do you feel okay?"

"Ye-yeah, I feel great. Goodnight landlady-san."

Faint footsteps were heard, the lights went out, and the sound of sheets ruffling was the last thing Shimura Akane heard as she walked away from the room.

'_There is something wrong with that man.'_

XxXxX

**I shove my thumb is the faces of the people who said I'm unoriginal! How's this for unoriginal?**

**And this fanfic is a little bit based on the book, **_**'The Invisible Man'.**_

**Also, I want to thank the users:**

**Hollow Mashiro: You don't want me to get into detail, there will be 16 paragraphs explaining one thing.**

**Mel72000**

**Dragon-Wolf Tamer**

**For reviewing.**

**I also want to thank No Name and Melle, I did use **_**'Results of a Poker Night' **_**as inspiration, but I did not copy. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. The List

**I am soooo sorry for the late update! I had to force the ending out! Also, this chapter is a bit of an experiment with... being more descriptive.**

XxXxX

The first thing the masked man saw when he awoke was the tan sheets from the futon he was laying in. his head had sunk into his pillow, and it had grown lumpy around his head.

As he sat up, he rubbed the sleep from his eye, and for the first time, examined the room.

It was a typical Japanese room. Lying directly in the middle was his futon. A few feet away was a kotatsu with red checkered boxes as a pattern.

Still rubbing his eye, he stretched his mouth and yawned. "That was a good night's sleep." He said, before looking at the alarm clock he had set the night before. What he saw made him stop, mid yawn, and made his eyes bulge out of his head.

"Ten twenty-three!" he exclaimed, before hopping out of the futon.

First he ran to the bathroom. He opened his toothpaste, which was lying next to the sink, and squirted _a lot _of the sticky white substance into his mouth. In one swift movement, he turned on the sink, filled his mouth with water, and, after swishing the mixture in his mouth for a few seconds, he spit it all into the sink.

After turning on the tap to wash away all his SMWT (Saliva mixed with toothpaste), and running back to his main room, the masked man ripped his knapsack open so fast he almost tore it.

He pulled out random clothes, not caring about the color, and yanked them on his body.

It took him a few minutes to get all the clothes on properly. Especially due to the fact that he was wearing all his clothes on over bandages.

XxXxX

"How come I didn't have any breakfast prepared?" The masked man asked once he reached the outside. He wore his regular bandages that covered his skin, a black jacket and white dress shirt, a tie and a pair of pressed black pants, and normal ninja sandals. His headband was worn on a forehead. His headband and ninja sandals seemed to be the only things out of touch with the rest of the outfit.

Shimura Akane was a big fan of gardening, so it didn't surprise the masked man to see her in her front yard, gardening. Shimura had grown a wonderful garden in her yard a while back, and she loved to work on it.

The forty three year old woman was wearing a plain pink dress that stopped at her knee. A regular slip was worn underneath it, and the look was accompanied by black leggings, flip flops, and a few bracelets. Shimura had left her wavy, mid-back length black hair strait, and enjoyed the shade under her sunhat.

"_You _didn't pay me." The landlady said with an un-hidden smirk.

"So just because of that, I don't deserve to eat?"

Shimura grinned, an evil glint in her eye. "Exactly."

The masked man slumped even more. "That's not fair…"

"Fine then, do you want to know a way of making it fair?"

"Yeah!" the masked man replied enthusiastically.

"The secret is…" The landlady said, as she motioned for the masked man to lean forward, and only continuing when he did. "TO PAY YOUR RENT!" She hollered in his ear.

The masked man jerked back, and began to fall backwards. As quickly as possible, he bounced back on his feet, rewinding his actions.

Shimura looked shocked at what had happened.

"Reflexes." The masked man answered, a bit sheepish.

Seeing as his landlady had nothing else to say, the masked man turned and left.

'_I guess I'll just make a quick trip to Ichiraku Ramen.'_

XxXxX

From the bushes nearest to the inn the masked man was staying at, a pair of blue eyes lit up.

Chuckling was heard from the bushes, and several passer biers stopped and stared at the bush.

XxXxX

"One Miso Ramen please!" Naruto yelled as he sat in his favorite seat at Ichiraku Ramen.

"Coming right up!" Ayame replied.

Now, Naruto did not plan on visiting Ichiraku Ramen just to empty his wallet, but he now had an extra 4,200 ryo in his pockets. The money should have been used to buy a certain flame-carved sword that, unfortunately, had been bought by someone else. Most people would have saved the money, but Naruto, being Naruto, decided to treat himself.

And what better place was there than Ichiraku Ramen to stuff himself until he couldn't get another noodle into his mouth?

"I could eat as much as I want," Naruto said, after his ramen had arrived, as he slurped some of the ramen, "and still have enough money left over to pay my rent!" The blonde concluded cheerfully.

Next to him, a certain masked man froze.

'_Shit!'_ The masked man thought. Visiting his favorite ramen stand had made him temporarily forget about his money problem. But of course, only temporarily.

And as the masked man slammed his head onto the counter repeatedly, beating himself up about his mistake, he grew an idea.

The masked man sat up and pumped his fist into the air.

"Excuse me, miss," The masked man called to Ayame, who turned to him.

"Yes?"

"Do you have a pen and paper I could use?" He asked hopefully.

Ayame automatically replied, "Yes, I do. Shall I bring it for you?"

"Hai! Arigatō!" He thanked. When Ayame disappeared into the back of the ramen stand, the masked man went back to eating his ramen. He savored the taste.

"Mmm, crab." He said, thoughtfully, as he chewed lightly. It was then that Ayame returned.

"Here you go." She set the pen and paper she was holding on the counter. The pen was a newer kind, the masked man noted, and the paper was plain white.

"Arigatō again!" He called as Ayame took another customer's order.

The masked man grabbed the pen off the wooden counter, and, for the first time, thought about what he was going to write.

He tapped the pen on his chin, a little habit he had picked up over the years, before uncapping the pen.

He pulled the paper nearer to him and wrote in messy handwriting at the top: 'WAYS TO EARN MONEY.' And underlined it.

The masked man dropped the pen for a moment. With his chopsticks, he stuffed his mouth with noodles, toppings, and soup. He swallowed it all in one gulp and went back to his writing.

Underneath his title, he wrote after a bullet: GET A JOB.

Next he wrote: GET A JOB FROM AKANE-SAN – which he furiously scribbled out.

Under his black scribbling, he added: OPEN A FOOD STAND – which he scribbled out as well.

After a few mouthfuls of ramen, he wrote: GO HUNTING FOR LOOSE CHANGE. His pen hovered over the sentence as he decided among himself whether or not to scribble it out. Eventually, he decided not to.

The masked man set down the pen and looked at his list. It read:

WAYS TO EARN MONEY

GET A JOB

GET A JOB FROM AKANE-SAN

OPEN A FOOD STAND

GO HUNTING FOR LOOSE CHANGE

"Looks okay to me," He mumbled, holding the paper close to his bandaged face.

After emptying his bowl, he slid just enough money to pay for his meal on the counter.

Leaving the pen, he grabbed the paper, neatly folded it and stuffed it into his pocket, and walked away.

But unknown to the bandaged man, he had been watched the entire time he was there.

Right next to where the masked man had been seated, a certain blonde haired, hyperactive ninja had been paying close attention to what the masked man had been doing.

Uzamaki Naruto. He payed for his ramen, thanked Ayame, and walked in the direction on his apartment, which was in the opposite direction of where the masked man had left.

"Looks like I have something to do today." Naruto said to himself.

XxXxX

**Wow, this chapter is short. It was barley 1,000 words. And stupid. I accept all hate comments for this chapter because it… well, sucks. **

**It was just trying to be more descriptive at the beginning. And I promise the next chapter will be WAY longer, and it will stay on topic more, because you can see at the end I was rushing.**

**Time for reviews!**

**I want to thank: A Tragic Galaxy, Mel72000, Habu2010, kakashi-is-hot, Dragon-Wolf Tamer, Patriot-112, ChronoMitsurugi****, ****Melikalilly****, Kokala, and TS001 for reviewing! **


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